“Cell phones: Life at the speed of sound”
By Jim DeBrosse
Cell phones — nuisance or necessity? You decide.
Here are some snippets of actual family conversations.
Dad: I’m at Meijer. Did you guys say you wanted the maple syrup Eggo cereal or the cinnamon toast?
Son: Do they have Apple Jacks?
Dad: I told you I don’t buy Apple Jacks. I don’t like the food coloring.
Dad: So, is it maple syrup or cinnamon toast?
Son: Can you pick up some beef jerky? I’m starved.
Younger Daughter: Dad, where are you?
Dad: What do you mean? I’m at work.
YD: You were supposed to pick me up from drum lessons.
Dad: It’s Monday. Drum lessons are Tuesday.
YD: Jackie changed it, don’t you remember?
Dad: Aaaargh. I’m on deadline for a story.
YD: Da-a-a-d! I’ve got a soccer game at 6:30!
Dad: Sit tight. I’ll see if I can reach (my cousin) Peggy on her cell.
Dad: Peggy, can you get (YD) from her drum lesson?
Peggy: I thought that was on Tuesdays.
Dad: Yes, but… What the–! Peggy, can you hear me? Are you there!?
Son: Dad, I need a ride home.
Dad: I’m picking up (YD) from her drum lesson. Where are you?
Son: I’m at Matt’s. Can you come get me?
Dad: Don’t you have your bike?
Dad: Then ride it home.
Son: I don’t know the way.
Dad: What do you mean? How did you get there?
Son: I don’t know. I just got here.
Dad: Then find your way. (YD) has a soccer game in 30 minutes.
Son: Dad! No! I’m like really, really tired. We’ve been riding bikes all day.
Dad: Then ride home!
Son: Forget it. Noah says his mom is picking us up.
YD’s cell phone goes off, to the tune of Maybe I’m Crazy.
YD: Leah! OK, here’s the game plan for tonight.
Dad: I thought we said no phone calls on family walks.
Older Daughter: Yeah, (YD)! Get off the phone!
YD: Quiet! I’m trying to talk to Leah, okay!
Older Daughter’s cell phone goes off, to the tune of Miss Jackson.
OD: I can’t talk. We’re on a family walk — Really? She said that? Get real!
Dad: OK, guys, this is ridiculous! I’m taking Bandit home.
YD: Dad, where are you going? I thought we were taking a walk — No, not you, Leah — Dad!
Dad: Darnit. I said no cell phones on family walks.
YD and OD (both hanging up): OK, OK!
Dad’s cell phone goes off, to the tune of Claire de Lune.
Dad: Oh, no! I’ve been trying to reach this guy all day. I can’t help it, I’ve got to take this call.
YD and OD: Da-a-a-d!
DATE: June 29, 2007 PUBLICATION: Dayton Daily News (OH)
Copyright, 2007, Cox Ohio Publishing. All rights reserved.